Getting in the Picture

I enjoy scrapbooking.  I wouldn’t say I’m naturally crafty or talented at it but I do enjoy sitting down with pictures of my kids and arranging them in fun, colorful ways to capture the memories of their childhood.  But whenever I get to the pages where I want to include pictures of each child with Andrew and myself, I always discover someone missing…… ME!!!!

Are there any other moms out there who find this to be true?  Do you ever look through pictures of your kids and find that you spend more time behind the camera than in front of it?

I was very conscious of my aversion to the camera and very aware of the times I would purposefully dodge the camera. 

The reason – because instead of capturing the extra baby weight, the unkempt hair, my lack of make-up, or less-than-fashionable wardrobe, it’s just easier for me to stand behind the camera and capture each milestone my kids reach.

But recently I read an article that challenged me by asking the question, “do your kids care?” 

Do your kids care about the extra pounds you may have gained while carrying them inside you? 

Do your kids care whether or not you’re able to stand in front of the mirror for 15 minutes that morning to make yourself presentable?

Do your kids care that you haven’t been able to afford new clothes recently?

The only thing your kids really care about is that you are their mom.  We aren’t going to be around forever and someday a time will come when we aren’t able to be in our children’s lives anymore.  At that point, it is vitally important that we leave behind memories and photos for our children to hold onto and cherish. 

I want my kids to be able to look back on their childhood photos someday and be able to see their mom.  To see that I was, at one point, young, active and every bit involved in their lives.  And the thing that I realized is that whereas I see pictures of myself and start picking apart all the negatives, my kids look at pictures and just see their mommy. 

So here’s my challenge for all of you.  Don’t dodge the camera.  Get in front of it!  Capture memories with your kids for them to keep even after we’ve past. 

 

Confessions from an imperfect mom

Yesterday was just “one of those days”.  You know the kind, right?  When things seem out of control and you can’t get anything to go right.  I posted on my facebook status:

“You know those moments where you laugh because otherwise you'll cry? Yup, having one of those moments right now.”

Today a friend came up to me and thanked me for it.  Why?  Because, especially as moms, we tend to forget we are not the only ones who have bad days.  It was refreshing for her to know she wasn’t the only one who had those days where you all you feel like doing is crying. 

So today, let me just put it out there just in case anyone is feeling like they’re the only ones who struggle ….. I’m not a perfect mom! 

There have been days and situations where, instead of keeping cool and calm, I completely fly off the handle and have to go back to kids to seek forgiveness because I didn’t respond and act as I should have. 

There have been times when I have locked myself in the bathroom (because it’s the only locking door) and dissolved in tears.

There have been moments where I have been completely clueless to know what to do or say and all I can think of is to cry out to the Lord a single word…. “HELP!” 

But I have to be honest, amongst my times of wanting to give up, I get glimpses of sunshine that show me I must be doing something right. 

Like when Adam and Emma thank Andrew and I for making their dinner every evening, or the random hugs around my waist with “I love you, Mommy”.  The smiles, the giggles and the snuggles. 

I realize I’m certainly not perfect and there are many things I’m working on daily to improve, but when I see my kids playing contently together, laughing together and loving each other, it helps me realize that despite my missteps, the good far outweighs the difficult.

I know it’s easy to focus on everything that’s falling apart around us and all the things giving in to chaos, but take a moment (because that’s usually all the time we have) to catch a ray of sun so you can confidently tell yourself, “I must be doing something right”.